It’s a well-documented fact that women past the age of 40 cease to exist. No longer able to appease the sex-centric (male) gaze with their fertile faces and bodies, they simply phase out of reality, quietly.
Rare instances of women continuing to exist past this calamitous age have been documented in recent years, the scientific research community working tirelessly to create new ways of conserving the female appearance in a state of perpetual youthfulness. These fringe cases of enduring as part of day-to-day reality past the calamitous 40 year mark seem to almost always involve white, highly affluent women. …
We all want to matter, to be truly remarkable at something — find your purpose, live your best life and all that.
Don’t we? So I’ve been told. Yet, do people who live in an off the grid commune in the woods and spend their days farming and contributing to their community have either the time or inclination to entertain an existential grand life purpose related crisis?
There are a lot of things that grind my gears when it comes to the daily life of an online reader, but I do have six top-tier grievances.
These can be broken down in two main, self-centred categories:
A. things that piss me off about people’s writing, haha — and
B. things that piss me off about people’s writing, which I’m also fucking guilty of myself and this isn’t even funny.
I will start with the former, because it’s best to save the self-deprecating humour for last, lest people walk away from this thinking I’m a total jerk.
I’m aware of how unpopular of an opinion this is going to be. If I was more popular myself, I’d be bracing for impact right now. Seeing as this isn’t the case, I can still afford to say it without much ensuing uproar: I’ve been thinking about the pope weighing in on ethics in AI — and I have follow-up questions.
For one, I don’t think that it’s exactly impartial. It’s not the pope’s genuine selfless good interests that I’m questioning here. I’m reasonably sure, like, 99% convinced, the pope is in it with a sincere desire to create a…
The alternative scene has a problem.
By alternative, I don’t just mean Nirvana fans. I mean those who enjoy that music which most other people feel is noise: punk, rock of whichever type that is actually rock and not pop, goth, etc. And by problem, I mean people over 30 who have fucking given up. Also, by given up I mean, well, that’s what all this is about, so you’re going to have to allow me to explain.
First of all however, a much-needed disclaimer. This is a pretty 1st world, high-satire issue we’re about to dive into. If your…
My Mum has this saying that’s pretty popular with her clients in therapy: emotion is not information.
Now, at first glance, that might seem flat-out wrong: of course, emotion offers vital information. Why actually, without emotions, humans would have serious trouble with their decision-making. You need to know how you feel about things in order to make critical decisions, like which career you’d like to dedicate your time and energy to, which person you’d like to date, which animal to fear when out in the woods hunting, which fellow monkey to throw your faeces at. …
Me since, basically, forever: You know what I will never be caught dead writing? Those bollocks internet listicles.
Also me: You know what I should do now that I’ve turned 30? One of those internet listicles!
It’s also worth mentioning that I’m a 30-year-old white female, living in a ‘second world’ country; my experiences may or may not be useful to someone outside these circumstances, but they may inspire another fellow human to be more accepting of themselves and their own particular quirks, so here we are.
1.It’s okay to be a nerd; embrace the nerd. You don’t have to…
I’m guilty of thinking out loud. As in, I say something — wait for it — oh fuck, that sounded stupid/insulting/wrong. Is it just me?
Usually, I can just immediately call myself out, rephrase, explain myself. You know, acknowledge my mistake, fix it best I can, apologise, and move on.
For example, a while back during a debate triggered by a case of revenge porn making the media rounds, I raised my voice slightly in a dramatic rant and barked You do not even understand the implications! at a colleague.
What I meant was, you, the hypothetical individual publicly sharing…
It’s out there with the best stereotypes: white folk can’t dance, people of colour have above average singing voices, avoid girls with daddy issues.
Some of these stereotypes are harmless, like as a white person I’m still not always sure about white people and dancing: though I have seen many a white person kill the ring with them moves, I’ve also seen plenty of horny white dudes theatrically failing at pretending they can dance.
Some of the stereotypes feel more degrading than that, however. …
I don’t really understand what people expect Big Something to look like. I mean, in practice, in real life. Or, as the internet calls it, IRL.
Let’s look at an example that’s a little more subtle: Big Advertising. I seriously laugh out loud just typing that. Yet people often seem to act like it exists. I mean no judgement by that. The only reason why I beg to differ is, I work in the industry.
Which means I happen to know first-hand, that we’re a bunch of nerds. We’re all mostly just weirdos whose parents predicted they’ll never be able…